As a society we have pushed so far away from giving ourselves love that most of us don’t even know what that looks like. Sure, we all hate the frat boy who is constantly bragging about how many reps he did at the gym or the number of chicks who are after his nuts, but in truth, we’re also a little envious of him. He has what most people want: confidence. Furthermore, it has become something to frown at and mock. Bragging is something people just don’t do because it’s become an obnoxious cliché. It seems we should be humble not to the point that Buddhist monks are, but to the point where even thinking highly of yourself at all is grounds for arrogance. I can’t tell you when this trend started and how it has gotten so ridiculously out of hand, but it needs to be reversed.
Personally, I refuse to go along with this trend. Long gone are the days when I will not feel accomplished for doing something amazing or not think I am beautiful when I look in the mirror. Sure, I have my moments, but for the most part I love myself and really wouldn’t want to be anyone else. I am proud of the things I have done in my life and how far I have come and I FEEL myself radiating these emotions so strongly at times that I feel invincible. That being said, witnessing the downfall of so many people is painful to watch; mostly because I know it is an internal struggle. Sure, outside forces will always be there, influencing you, but I have learned that this is only true if you allow it to be.
Here are 5 things you can do to make yourself feel awesome. At first, it won’t seem like its working. Don’t give up; keep blabbing to yourself, man. Eventually, it’ll be a part of your make and it’ll amaze you just how insanely rad you are.
1. I want you to literally stand in front of a mirror every day and tell yourself you are amazing, or smart, or stellar or beautiful or whatever it is you need to hear in that moment. Or all of the above. Build a daily mantra for yourself. My personal favorite is: “I am beautiful, I am powerful and I am free.” Repeat it, especially when you’re feeling blah. It doesn’t have to be out-loud if you don’t want to seem like a nut-job in front of your coworkers. Do it! Guaranteed love affair with yourself. Super sexy.
2. Give thanks. Yep, gratuity goes a looooooong way. There is nothing worse than not only complaining constantly about life, but also forgetting about what you DO have in your life. And this goes back to the basic principles of the Universal Law of Attraction, which basically states that whatever we put out into the Universe, it comes to us. Negative or positive. The Universe never says NO and it is always listening. So, if you’re out there mopping about how shitty your sex life is, most likely it ain’t gonna get any better. Focus on what you do want and on a bigger scale; be grateful for what you already have. It will be multiplied tenfold. Here’s a good exercise: every morning or night (whichever feels better to you) write down things you are grateful for. It may only be two things at first, but the list will grow. Soon you’ll be thanking the Universe for the random-est things like your goose-feather pillow and your amazing ability of mastering some stellar kama-sutra move. Now that’s talent.
3. Breathe. Ok, you’re always breathing, unless you’re dead and reading this from the beyond… which would be really fucking cool. But anyway, BREATHE. And not in your normal I-don’t-really-need-to-be-thinking-about-breathing-kind-of-breathing, but the kind of breathing that takes focus and energy and acknowledgement. Never underestimate the power of breath. Why do you think monks and yoga fanatics and athletes and women giving birth focus so much on their breath? Because it’s immensely powerful. It centers us and keeps us focused on what is happening in the moment. I recently went to the Mind Body Spirit convention here in Portland and listened to a dude talk about the breath. He was an amazing speaker, not only because of the information he was providing us, but of his ability of make it relatable. He used sex as an example. He gave us the scenario of being in total ecstasy as you climax and had us try to remember our breath in that moment. It’s deep, it’s powerful and most importantly, it keeps us focused in the moment. For a few seconds there is no past or future, but just that moment. And that’s a huge reason why it feels so good. There is no stress. Later on, I was lucky enough to talk to him one-on-one and he gave me an exercise I could do whenever I was feeling off. Take a huge breath, acknowledge whatever is bothering you, embrace it, and let it go peacefully. Your breath in that moment creates energy that cannot be replicated in any other way. It’s quite amazing. That, along with your personal effort of facing your demons, will free you in a way you can’t believe. Now fly, my little pigeons fly!
4. I mean, really, who cares what anyone else thinks? Ok, we all kind of do to come extent, but it’s time to realize the only opinion that matters is your own and it’s the only one you can change. And when you’re out there trying to make yourself feel good and someone tries to cut you down, don’t let them because haters gonna hate. So, take in the good from others and just let the rest roll off your shoulder. They can only hurt you if you let them.
5. Listen to that little voice in your head. Not the one telling you to go all postal on your workplace, but the one trying to help you out. Your intuition loves the crap out of you and wants what’s best for you and you should be listening to it. Deep down you know what to do, it just takes time and patience and trust to become in tune with it.